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As a model, it is very VERY easy to fall into the false ideas around size and weight. I’ve seen so many young people, myself included, get swept up by media images and productions that portray the ideal woman: tall, thin, beautiful. At 18, I knew I wanted to model. At 19, I gained 25lbs because of clinically diagnosed anxiety and depression. By 20 I was at my smallest size (second photo taken January of this year). I can’t tell you when it started to become unhealthy but I was obsessed with the idea of losing weight and becoming “skinny”. I thought I needed to continue to eat less, exercise more, and measure myself against other body types to fit into the modelling world. In that second photo, I genuinely believed I had more weight to lose. .
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Body Dysmorphia is an issue that affects hundreds of Canadians every year, and has the capacity to push people to make life altering decisions like eating disorders, suicide attempts, and other harmful things. I didn’t think there was anything wrong with the way I was living until my joints began to hurt, I couldn’t feel certain areas of my body, and I was losing hair. As a firm believer in transparency, here it is: I was running my body into the ground to reach an unhealthy standard I imposed on myself, because I didn’t love myself enough to see that I am beautiful the way I am. .
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Mental health is the root of your being and poor mental health can manifest in many ways. I take FAR better care of myself now; I eat healthier, balanced foods, I supplements nutrients for my mental and physical health, and I listen to my heart. I love my body for the way that it is, and I work with it instead of against it. On mental health awareness day, I’m able to look back at that photo and recognize that I am healthier now. Im so thankful for the people in my life who taught me to love and accept myself when I couldn’t do it on my own. Here’s to mental growth.
#mentalhealthawareness #mentalhealthday #growth #physicalhealth #selflove #care #YearOfShaz
