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As the whole family gathers around my precious Nonna’s bedside in the hospital, all we are aching for is a serious miracle. We are having a really hard time, and like most Italian families, the grandparents are the glue and keep everybody together. I feel it’s too early for me to potentially lose my Nonna at this time, but I know I’m sounding selfish when I say that. She hasn’t seen me get engaged, or experienced a great-grandchild yet, and that just really hits me hard. I’m so torn. We are all so torn. I know she is clinging on but eventually she will let go and it just fucking pains me. I get told quite often that I’m so much like her. I’m sassy, caring and serious like her. I worry like her. I dress well, just like the way she taught me to. She’s always had great fashion sense. My Nonna is a tough cookie but also fragile. I also get that from her. I love you Nonna, I hope you pull through because you were doing so well, but if you can’t fight anymore, I will put my happiness aside for you. Thank you for raising me as a child, and making me the tough, independent woman I am today. I will cherish all the moments we’ve had, as I’m bawling my raw eyes out for you. God, I am super emotional right now. I’m never like this on social media. But I’m in limbo between not knowing what to do to express myself, but also wanting to be alone. So I write this as I’m alone, curled up in a ball, hoping this nightmare passes me by. ❤️😭❤️😭❤️😭
