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‼️ LOOOONG READ AHEAD ‼️
My life has been a series of high peaks and low valleys. In the last 3 months, that’s all changed. In the spirit of candor, for my friends or anyone who can relate, I'd like to say that this year has been rife with panic attacks, and dangerously low self-esteem, but also blessed with rebirth and self-actualization.
January was one of the toughest months I've ever had to endure. I suffered what I thought to be one of the most traumatic events of my life. The trajectory I played in my head was that that moment was effectively the end of what I thought to be a stable life. I couldn’t be more wrong.
I’m beginning to understand that everything happens for a reason, whether it be good or bad, there is something to be learned. For those of you who know me, you’d know that I internalize the negative. That was reflected in my outward facing personality too; very shut in, introverted and shy. I felt I didn’t deserve to show my true self to those around me. I didn’t feel comfortable being myself. That manifested in resentment and instability.
Amongst this journey over the last couple months, I’ve realized just how damaged my mind, spirit and body were.
It took an icebath, burning hot Temazcal ceremony and breathwork to realize that I have the power to pull through hardship, and mend my friendship with myself. Those were debatably the two most uncomfortable situations I’ve put myself in. I did them because I wanted to believe in myself. I kept telling myself that this all has a purpose. I didn’t suffer the bad to continue suffering, it happened to propel me to self-betterment. As a result, I’ve been the most accepting, level-headed and happy than I’ve been in my adult life.
I say all of this to: 1. Make a testament to higher self, so I can remember how I feel, and 2. To show to those who were in the same position as me that it’s indeed possible to change. A lot of it has to do with mentality and willingness to change. If this inspires someone to take the plunge into the seemingly impossible self-bettering work then I’d have done my job. If not, I just wanted to share this because I’m proud of myself.
Love y’all and myself too,
Cameron
